Hold taut or set loose: which parenting style is better? Part 2

Our mother became really frank and open with all three of us as we grew, because she kind of saw that the time for us becoming boisterous bullies or unthankful loud-mouthed uncivilized pricks had passed.  But in the early years it was different; she was friendly and understanding but more at an arm’s length with NO COMPROMISE on manners and behavior. She was more inclined towards making us understand why certain behaviors were unacceptable with examples around us. Sooner or later, we do understand why parents are sometimes an apparent pain to us. I’m a staunch believer of not taking any excuse of rude behavior myself. By allowing such kind of behavior you’re giving them ways to make excuses for whatever they go on doing with justifications. In today’s world where everything has come acceptable and subjective, we are in more need than ever to strict to some ground rules of objectivity where there should be a GOOD and BAD label attached to certain things, otherwise there would be chaos around us. Things are simpler than we mostly think.

A classic part of Asian style parenting is to set high academic goals for the kids to secure them a better, brighter future. Though I do not completelt agree with burdening the child with too much academic or high achievements pressure from an early stage, I do believe in encouraging the child to further push themself in doing even better every single time. This does not mean not being content in what they already achieved, but making them constantly strive for self-betterment- not just for grades but for self-improvement too. There’s always room for improvement, right? I love applauding my daughter when she achieves her little milestones which make me so proud of her bright little mind but everyday I try to teach her something new, something she can learn to do independently.  Life should be a series of achieving new goals, small or big, tough or easy, there should always be a purpose to fulfill, long or short term. An existence without meaning is a curse to the mind, no matter what age you are.

A very important aspect of being a little stern regarding your children’s behavior is that they already know the consequences of their actions, so chances are they’ll think hard and long before doing things. They will know there are not only expectations but reward or punishments at the end of an action. This thought in itself is adequatelt scary for kinds to keep them from doing stupid stuff.

I hope I did not make myself sound like a prude or a know-it-all; every child is different and difficult in his/her own way. There should always be a customization of both ends to fit your child’s personality. After all, we all know our kids best.

God Bless

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