So, with the passage of time, the discomfort grew with repetitive incidents like:
- trying to compete with my old friends and an endless pursuit to prove this friend was the ONLY worthy friendship in my life
- showing undue ‘possession’ over me, throwing tantrums over my social/personal commitments
- trying to move ahead in our relationship (friends) and getting somewhat touchy touchy (highly uncomfortable even as friends if it’s misplaced, out of nowhere)
- trying to break the ice with my family members (a bit too much), buttering up my siblings and getting involved in personal matters
Now I’m sure some of you might call this a classic case of ‘friend-zoning’ by me, but I now really understand why circumstantial evidence is indispensable. There are things you have only felt and you in your heart they are correct, but unfortunately there’s no way to proof your instincts.
Around that time, I was going through a really rough patch in my relationship with my then fiance (now husband) so this 24/7 melodrama was the LAST thing I needed, no matter how distracted I wished I could be. Soon I was able to tell their lying, concocted stories of how wanted he was, how UNLUCKY I was not to have him as my lover, how willing he was to take my in IN CASE things didn’t work out with my fiance, how naive I was in reading people (which I was until I met this gentleman) and the list goes on. See, I’ve always liked to think of myself as a practical and prudent person, yes I’ve made miscalculations regards lots of stuff in life (don’t we all do?) but I’m not stupid either. I could see how cunning this person was from inside and there was no way I’m so gullible that I’d blame Cupid for it. I have loved people too and it certainly doesn’t mean you lie, deceive and feign shit; you can be sane and realistic being in love with someone, no matter how heart-wrenching it is. You don’t become a whining, attention-seeking pain-in-the-ass just because you love someone, at least I was different.
Fast forward, I really got myself into some serious emotional overburden with every passing day. With being torn between which side of this person to believe in and things in my personal life that weren’t going ideal, I was drained. I couldn’t listen to another word against my fiance, my ex (who I now respected for not being THIS crazy) and another pity-inducing story. There was ALWAYS some reason or another to give attention, sympathy or validation to this person and call me a bad person but I did not know I was signing up for so much baggage! I just lowered my walls of courtesy and niceties and snapped a couple of times. We patched up as any normal friends would. It was a mistake. Final nail in the coffin, I got to know the person had been lying to get close to me since day 1!!! A mutual friend who worked at his office coincidentally revealed that this person had NEVER been my senior at university, never studied in so and so foreign university, never visited Australia in their semester break and a large part of his office romance stories were FICTITIOUS!!! Fun fact: my friends added Fictitious as a suffix to his name afterwards. Lol. Buuuut in any case, it was quite a shocker because I had no idea of the magnitude of his pretense and lies. To be fairly honest, I was pretty shaken and scared of how fucked up this is. People weren’t supposed to lie about such things or make stories to appear cool at almost 30, right?
Not so long after, I was able to take advantage of another attention-seeking breakdown where I fired the shots in retaliation and said a lot of stuff, gory and mean. Surprisingly, I did feel kinda bad after a while and texted this person, given so many things we had shared (also a mistake on my part) but not only did he very coldly replied (expected) but they were also kind of loud and cruel about it. A person who was once “unconditionally, without any expectation of a return” in love with me, now didn’t even want to be friends and was really a jerk about it. So I packed my mental bags and left this station forever, for good. Only recently I was reading about Histrionic Personality Disorder and it rang some very loud bells to me and I thought I’d share my unfortunate experience with you guys. No morals to this story I guess, it’s just that sometimes we all suck at judging people and let our guards down to some very wrong and unworthy people. Or, people are damn good at faking stuff these days, and if you’re unluckily already disturbed, there’s a good chance they’ll fool the heck out of you and STILL MANAGE to play the victims. Twisted sobs!